I know that it's late And maybe I shouldn't be so into you It's just that tonight I am so taken, I've fallen for you When I look in your eyes I can see A million possibilities And I know you'll be leaving me soon But tonight
Come a little bit closer Let me hold you baby I will be good to you And we can try To forget tomorrow And make it last forever tonight
So if you must go Know that I'll be missing you, wishing you closer So let's make the most of these Moments together, we'll never forget And it's breaking my heart 'cause I know That tomorrow you'll be miles away And I catch myself wanting so much more Tonight
So if you’re leaving me now Baby I don't know how I will ever get over you Because you opened my eyes To this love that's inside Oh baby, don't ever, ever leave me
from now on, i'll try not to make any argues between us. kung mas gusto nya kasama mga barkada ny then i'll let him be with them. I'm too tired to be the a hindrance. I'm too tired to hear any complains. I want him to be happy as much as possible but if letting him with his friends can make him happy fine.. Auko na makigulo. dahil ako lang din ang lumalabas na masama. oo nasasaktan ako whenever he feel more enjoy an happy with them. na kahit kelan hindi ko nakita whenever he's with me. at sobrang sakit talaga. akala ko nagbago na sya hindi pa pala. nagkamli akong i-expect sa sarili kong this time ako na ang priority nya. sobrang disappointed ako talaga today. tama nang magkanya-kanya nalang siguro kami para walang nasasaktab eh noh? dahil kung laging nasa kanila ang atensyon nyang pilit kong ibinabaling sa'kin wala sigurong patutunguhan 'to kundi paulit0ulit nalng at wala nang maganda kahihinatnan. maiintindihan naman nya siguro kung lalayo nalang ako. ayoko na rin kasing magpaubaya. habang sya nagapapakasaya. kahit siya gusto nya ring maging masaya.
Bakit nga ang hirap i-avail ng HAPPINESS does it really need so much effort just to achieve a one second of happiness?? ang hirap naman maging masaya kung ganun. pinili ko sya dahil masaya ako sa kanya. Pero sya?? pinili ba nya ako dahil sa'kin din sya masaya at ganun din ang nararamdaman nya? hindi naman di ba? hindi ko na tuloy ala kung anong dapat kong sabihin sa sarili ko to convince myself why do i have to stay to someone who's not really with thisa. nakipagbalikan sya sa'kin which is favorable to me. he told me promises coz he wants me back pero bakit ganun? ako nalang ba lage ng ako? at anu pang sasabihin ng ibang tao? naa ako lagi ang masama. Na ako lage ang may problema. they will judge me based on what he just said without making any effort to look for deeply inside of it before making reactions. sa totoo lang sana inisip muna niang bago nila kampihan ung tao they are dealing with the real situations hindi ung they aonly based their reactions according to what the other ones says and never did try to hear the other one also why she/he did it. life's is so unfair. Why can't i be happy.. i deserve to loved din naman di ba? coz deep inside me that i loved him with all of me yet i still not enough. kulang nalang ipagduldulan ko sakanya lahat ng ginagawa ko para mismong siya makita sa mata nyang sobrang nasasaktan na rin ako at kelangan ko rin ng oras, pagiintindi at atensyon nya.
pagbibigyan ko sya kung sakanila ba sya mas sasaya hahayaan ko na sila. hinding hindi na nya ko maririnig na magsasalita in regards to his friends' stuff pagod na pagod na kasi ako ang bigat na ng pakiramdam ko. gusto na rin naman maging masaya....
okay.. here's another chapter. He came back with all of his promises. So good to be true. People are always good for nothing isn't it? I thought this time, he'll be better unlike before that i used to knew him. how sweet the lies are. but now i'm all done with the sufferings he'd caused me, learned to what i supposedly knew in the first place. Maybe it's just not all the people surrounds us deserves another chance. Or maybe they just have to learn from their mistakes and realize how much did they thrown away. Sorry. Can be more meaningful to someone's in pain when the compromiser has something to correct it and never let it happen all over and over again.
Maybe i'm on the right track. no one can say it's wrong. I decided to be more dependent, to be more considerate to my feelings. I've learned to say no to those who keeps on hurting me and to prioritize those who loves me back.
In my opinion.. wala naman siguro akong dapat pagsisihan lalo na't alam ko sa sarili kong ibinigay ko nang lahat ng kaya kong ibigay to someone who i chose stay. Pero now i realized hini pala enough ung mahal mo lang ung tao kaya ka nagtitiis. At hindi rin sapat na dahilan ung umaasa ka kasing magbabago sya. Coz if he really does want to change his views in life. Sana ginawa na nya un matagal na. Alam kong i committed mistakes also that's why i can't blame him for being rude to me. kaya nga nagkaroon ng word na FORGIVING di ba?. Pagpapatawad. He took away my freedom. Tao lang din ako at gaya nya gusto o rin makameet ng different persons. Hindi ako mag-grow unless he learn to let me search for new things. Wala kas syag tiwala. Hindi nya kasi kayang ibigay ung tiwalang hinihingi ko for the past 3 year and 8 months.
Alam mo bah kung anong gift nya sa'kin nung birthday ko?? guess what? Break up. How sweet... hindi man lang kinosider ung espesyal na araw na un para sa'kin. mura dito, paghihinala dun, kawalan ng respeto.
Siguro nga hindi na mainam sa isang relasyon ung i-pursue pa ito kahit alam naman nating wala na talaga. Una sa lahat. sayang sa panahon at oras. pangalawa sayang ung konting pagmamahal na natitira. pangatlo. nagmamahal pa rin kahit alam mung di mo na talaga kaya.
may scenario pang nangyrai that made me realize everything here it is:
Marianne Maybkit ka nkkrelate?
5:19pmMe:hehehehe.. kase masakit
hehe
bkit nu bang nangyari
5:20pmMarianne Maywala na c mau at shane
5:20pmMe:bakit
parang di naman nga ko maniwala..
5:20pmMarianne Maywala na tlga
5:20pmMepero gnun tlaga eh.. tiningnan ko ung fb ni mau. ang sweet nila sa primary pic niya
5:21pmMarianne Mayhindi nag oopen c mau pro d2 sa fb ko nlalaman mga sama ng loob nya
5:21pmMehmmm...
5:21pmMarianne Maykc alam mo nsasaktan nya minsan c shane
5:21pmMesabagay.. nagaalangan lang un magsabi kasi baka di xa maintindihan..
5:21pmMarianne Maypro apektado ako
5:21pmMephysical?or emotional5:22pm Marianne Maypreho prang tau
5:22pmMesyempre.. ala naman natin kung anung feeling ng gnun
5:22pmMarianne Mayyap kya intindi ko c shane kung bkit ayaw na nya
5:22pmMepero sa tingin ko hindi in siguro ginusto ni shane ung iwan sya
tingin m?
5:22pmMarianne Maynag sawa sya keith
ayaw na nya pro naiintndihan ko un
5:24pmMehmmmpf.. siguro need lang ni shane ng space
dahil hanggat di sya aalis di marerealise ni mau ung mga nagawa niya
5:24pmMarianne Maysaka laking america sya kya intindi ko na pag ayaw na ayaw na tlga
5:24pmMesooner or later everything will be okay..
hmmmpf di in natin masasabi un,
5:25pmMarianne Maypinaintndi ko nga un kay mau kgbi sbi ko d pa cla mag asawa cnasaktan na nya c shane..alam nman daw nya un
5:25pmMenagflashed back anaman 2loy lahat sakin hehe
5:26pmMarianne Maykya nga eh..nkakaawa c shane..lam ko mhirap din sa knya pro ayaw na nya tlga eh
5:26pmMemga lalaki kasi madalas hindi kayang iexpress through words ung nararamdam nila
tngin mo tama bang ecision ni shane?
5:27pmMarianne Mayoo kc mtalino sya iba sya mag isip..laking america sya..kpag ayaw na ayaw na tlga
5:27pmMesana ganun din ako magisip nun hehehe
5:28pmMarianne Mayiba tau eh
pro alam mo kieth naawa ako kay mau..
5:28pmMeoo nga masyadong matiisin.
5:28pmMarianne Mayandun kc cla kahapon sa bhay..3wiks d ngpunta c shane..
5:28pmMesyempre ikaw nakakita kung panu nya dinamdam un..
5:29pmMarianne Mayalam ko wala na cla nun kc nga nbbsa ko mga saloobin ni mau d2 sa fb
5:29pmMeahh so matagal-tagal na rin pla siilang di ok?
ahh...gnun bah,.. mahirap yan.
5:29pmMarianne Mayoo..kya affected ako..minsan d kumakain c mau
5:29pmMetsk tsk.
5:30pmMarianne Mayumuuwi ng gbi cguro nglilibang
5:30pmMetalaga? alam mo much better kug yayain mu sya gumala dun sa mga places na hindi pa nila napupuntahan
5:30pmMarianne Maypro ngttxt cla..minsan kc nkktxt c mau sakin pag wala syang load..ok nman cla
5:30pmMeone way un para makalimmt sya.
gnun din kasi ginawa ko nun. nga lang ako lang magisa nagpupunta
5:31pmMarianne Maylgi wala c mau eh..ska d ko alam kung pano ko approach
5:31pmMeparang natural lang like " ui punta tau sa ganito, ganyan may blah blah dun..
gets mo? hehehe
5:32pmMarianne Mayngttxt cla..mgkasama lgi sa skul..sa mga gala evry weekends..sa 3wiks na un walang ngbgo..wala na cla pro ok cla
yap yap
5:32pmMenga pala di ba sabi ko sau nagtetext sakin si xtian?
5:32pmMarianne Mayoo
bkit
5:32pmMenagkaaus kami pero wala rin,.
siguro mga two weeks lang..
5:33pmMarianne Maytlga
5:33pmMeparang d q na rin kilala sarili ko
hindi na ko apektado kung anu sabihin nya.
5:33pmMarianne Mayyap gets ko..
5:33pmMemadalas nagaaway pa rin kmi,
eto wala na ulit pero di ko ramdam ung skit
5:34pmMarianne Maybka tlgang ayaw mo na sya
5:34pmMeewan ko.. pero mahal ko pa rin.
nga lang wala na dun ung feeling na used to feel before..
5:34pmMarianne Mayganun tlga kc nga dba 1st mo sya
5:35pmMedi ko ineexpect na magkakaganito ako
5:35pmMarianne Mayun na lng cguro ung nrramdaman mo
5:35pmMeoo
peo iba na talaga. sabi nya pa parang di na rraw nya ramdam ung gaya ng dati.
5:35pmMarianne Mayganun tlga
ngbbgo nman hat dba
parang c shane kay mau
5:36pmMehehehe pero gusto ko ung pakiramdam na ganito
5:36pmMarianne Maytama yan
5:36pmMeoo nga eeh. kaya naiintindihan ko side ni shane.
nga lang ang tagaaaaaaal bago ko natauhan
kau mommy
musta naman kau ni daddy
5:37pmMarianne Mayok kmi
5:37pmMebuti naman...
^^
5:37pmMarianne Mayd na kmi mgkasama pro ok kmi
stay na sya sa knila
5:37pmMeahh o nga pala..
ok lang un.. basta ok kau mas mahalga un
5:38pmMarianne Mayreact na mga pinsan ko sa post ko
oo nga
5:38pmMeoo nga ehh nakikita ko
5:38pmMarianne Maynbsa mo dba???
5:38pmMeone year din sila dibah??mahigit
5:38pmMarianne Mayung Eg un ung kapatid namin na pinaampon namin
2yrs mhigit cla
5:39pmMeouch 2yrs na pala bilis talga ng panahon.
5:39pmMarianne Mayoo
d pa umuuwi c mau
ddting na nanay ko mmya
5:40pmMealam na ba ng mama mo
5:40pmMarianne Mayngtxt na ko knina pro d ngrreply
5:41pmMeahh... ganun bah.
5:41pmMarianne Mayalam nya din na affected ako kc nbanggit ko 1tym na nkkta ko d2 sa fb mga saloobin ni mau
5:41pmMesad din siguro un kase anak na turing nun ke shane
5:41pmMarianne Mayoo..pag nga nag aaway cla mas knakampihan ni nanay c shane eh
awang awa ako kay maui
5:42pmMeoo babae kasi..buti nga ganun kami nun mas papanigan pa nun si xtian then sasabihan pa ko mismo na madami pa daw iba
5:43pmMarianne Maykc c shane wala d2 m0mmy nya
kya kmi ni nanay c0ncern tlga sa knya kya ganun
5:43pmMeok lang yn.. it'll make him a better person.. para sa next gf man nya di na sya manakit
eh sinu guidance nya dito???
5:44pmMarianne Maytta at lola
5:44pmMeahh ganun bah...
eh si shane nakakatext mu bah
5:45pmMarianne Maysbi mau kya daw nya un nggwa kc mahal nya c shane..pro sbi ko d pa nman cla mag asawa pra saktan nya ng ganun c shane
hindi
5:45pmMeoo hindi naman porke mhal nya ganun na..
5:46pmMarianne Maykya nga eh..pinapaintndi ko kay mau na tanggapin na lng na ayaw na sknya ni shane..alam nmn daw nya..hindi lng daw tlga nya kaya
5:46pmMelahat namn ng tao ayaw masaktan lalo na kng pisikal na ang pinaguusapan
5:47pmMarianne Mayoo nman..alam ko ndala na c shane
5:47pmMesabagay.. di kasi ganun kadai un
kahit sinu naman neng..
5:47pmMarianne Mayayaw na nya tlga
sbi ni mau meron na daw iba c shane..sbi nman ni shane wala daw
5:47pmMewalang ibang makaktulong sa kapatid mu kundi sarili nya lang
5:48pmMarianne Maymhirap un pra sa knya kc magclasm8s cla eh
5:48pmMehmmpf iniisip nya lang un..kasi gaya nga ng sinabi mu di nya kayang tanggapin na iniwan sya dahil sa gingawa nya..
ayts.. oo nga pala..
takteng buhay nga naman
hiraaaap nyan
nakapagusap ba sila nung nagbreak sila
5:49pmMarianne Mayako tlga nhihirapan lalo na kgbi nung yumakap c mau sakin at umiyak sya
d ko napigilan sarili ko pti ako umiyak na din
5:50pmMehmmmpf... i feel u sis..
5:50pmMarianne May1st tym un neng
d nya na cguro kinaya
5:50pmMeganun talaga..
kaw ba naman kasi araw araw mo makita ung taong nging psrt ng life mo
5:51pmMarianne Maykya ngmakaawa tlga ko kay shane na wag iwan c mau na ganun ang itsura bka kc kung anong gawin wala pa nman c nanay
5:51pmMetamaaah:(
pagusapin mu sila ng maayos hirap kasi magmove on kapag an dami mung tanong sa saili mo..
5:52pmMarianne Maydba ang hirap..fb lng libangan nya sa bhay..syempre nga nman dun nya lng mailalabas sama ng loob nya
mhirap tlga lalo lgi pa cla mgsama sa skul
5:53pmMeoo tma ka dun.. try nya kay gumawa ng personal blog.. mas maganda pag may ganun kasi mas nailalabas nya lahat..fb kasi limited lang hehehe
5:53pmMarianne Maycguro gusto din nya mbsa ni shane
5:54pmMehmpf di naman manhid un si shane.. tinitiis lang din nun ung sakit.
5:55pmMarianne Mayoo..pro cguro sa icp nya enough na ang 2yrs kya nkipagbreak na sya
haiz...gabi na wala pa c mau
5:55pmMehmmmpf...mali lang ni shane pinatagal nya pah... siguro umasa syang magbabago pakikitungo sakanya ni mau
itext mu na kaya
5:56pmMarianne Maymahal din kc nya c mau
5:56pmMebaka kung san na mapadpad un
5:56pmMarianne Maywala sya cp ngaun..kay shane ako ngttxt sbi nsa tropa daw kgbi pa..after daw sya ihatid kgbi ngpunta daw sa tropa
sbi uuwi daw kgbi pro hindi umuwi
5:57pmMeahh so naguusap pa pala sila???ni shane?
5:58pmMarianne Mayoo..un nga kgbi ngpunta c shane sa bhay..tas nag inom clang 2..nrinig ko na lng nag aaway na kya nakialam nako
5:59pmMeahh talaga,
whew!
panu nga nman sila makakamove n kung ganyan
6:00pmMarianne Mayparang normal nga lng..wala na cla pro ok cla..sa gala mgksama iisa cla ng tropa..ngttxt padin
cguro kgbi dala ng lasing kya umabot na nman sa sakitan
6:00pmMehmmmpf eh di lalong mahiirapan nga si mau dun
6:00pmMarianne Maykya nga eh..
umawat ako kc c shane sumisigaw na ayaw na nya
c mau nman sbi pagbgyan lng sya gusto nya mag usap cla
6:02pmMeahh ganun bah... hmmpf mukhang malalim na talaga ung sama ng loob ni shane
6:02pmMarianne Mayoo.ramdam ko un
ayaw nga paawat na umuwi eh..
ngmakaawa lng ako
6:03pmMeanu sabi ni mau?
6:03pmMarianne Maysbi ko hayaan na lng na ihatid sya ni mau
6:03pmMedamn... grabe ah..
6:03pmMarianne Mayayaw ni mau na umalis c shane na d sya ksama kya ako ang ngmakaawa kay shane
buong buhay ko dun ko lng npkta kay ung pgiging ate ko sa knya
6:04pmMekasi nakainum eh dba? hays...
hmmpf syempre alam mong kelangan nah
6:05pmMarianne Mayoo..sbi ni mau khit wala na gusto nya walang mangyri kay shane na msama..
d kc un sanay bumyahe na mag isa
naawa ako kay shane pro mas naawa ako kay mau..
6:06pmMeahh oo tsaka babae sya nuh..nakainum pa delikado talaga
6:06pmMarianne Maygrabe itsura ni mau kgbi..prang ako lng pag msama ang loob
6:06pmMehmmmpf.. love nya talga si shane nga lang di nya alam kung panu itreat ng maaus si shane
6:07pmMarianne Mayoo..mainitin din kc ulo ni mau
haiz kieth.
6:07pmMeahh kelangan nya matutunan ng word na PATIENCE
6:08pmMarianne Maypro huli na ang lahat
6:08pmMedahil hanggat wala un sa bokabularyo nya wala kahihinatnan un samahan nila
un nga ehh.
6:08pmMarianne Mayngaun cguro nrerealize nya mga gnwa nya pro wala na eh sumuko na c shane
6:09pmMepero hindi nga lang din naman si shane ang pwede nyang mahalin.. sooner or later makakhanap din sya ng bago nyang katapat pero sana that time may PATIENCE na sya
wala naman pagsisising nauuna
6:09pmMarianne Maykorek
salamat kieth sa tym
mag out nako ha..nag rent lng kc ko eh
6:10pmMeno probs.. nakikisypatya lang hehe
ingat
sa paguwi
6:10pmMarianne Mayparting na din kc c nanay
6:11pmMeah ok ingat!!^^
laro mu na si ako
6:11pmMarianne Maysbi ko na nga dami mgrereact sa post ko
hehehe
6:11pmMehehehe oo isa na ko
6:11pmMarianne Mayung una ngreact kapatid namin un
6:11pmMenow ko lang kasi nabasa
6:11pmMarianne Maynbsa mo dba?un ung pinaampon namin
knina ko lng nman post un
6:13pmMarianne Maygeh neng bye muna
6:15pmMarianne May is offline.now i know.. hindi lang pala ako ang nakakaramdam ng ganito. i feel sorry for mau and feel impressed due to shane's bravery to stand back may option nga nman kasi. hays.. i've been on the same situation. letting go and holding back.. and they're both painful.. signing off kieth
It’s quite hard and painful when some things are kept and found it out through those who you’ve just meet once, and then instead of admitting, they’ll cover the lie of another lie. How sweet. It’s quite acceptable when we know that they did this for better. But it isn’t right when they do it for their own sake. Never realizing that they hurt people who lived them most. And when two of you argued, sometimes they’ll put the blame on us. Saying “it’s you why I am acting like this! It’s you and I only want to be fair to myself.” How sad isn’t. people sometimes blind or numb to feel that someone’s changing. And all they have to do is to open their eyes to see and appreciate every effort we made to satisfy them. They say “people may doubt you on what you say but they will always believe o what you sincerely do.” But we can’t blame someone who won’t believe us on what we’re saying if they also doubt everything we do. I’m not perfect to be the girl that someone’s dreamed of. It’s just me. And I don’t have to be in somebody else’s shoe to reach their expectations. Sometimes it gave me such envious thoughts and insecurity. I can’t blame people to judge me based on negative rumors rushing on me. The hell I care. I’m not perfect just like the way they think they are. Sometimes it’s better to be alone in this world rather than with someone who just do nothing but hurt your feelings and making the least of their priorities. Feeling neglected and rejected at some point. I know it’s not my time to love again. I know that this pain won’t take too long. Time has its own way of healing. Broken hearts will be healed soon. And what’s really bad about being me is I always seemed to be altruistic and optimistic. That even on the darkest day of my life I still smile. Enjoy everything and try to forget the things that used to broke my heart. I’m not that numb as what they think I am. I cry when my heart cannot handle the pain any longer. And smile when things got better. They say moving on is an easy thing if we already know hoe to accept everything. Life is about letting go, accepting and loving. Letting go of those who we think really had to go. We cannot force them as long as we want them here. God lets us borrow these people for a reason. And when God has finally want them out of your life, let go. We may meet them on the halfway but it doesn’t mean anything anymore. Accepting, the fact that people must come and go. Accept and face the reality with a clear mind, happy heart and continue pushing through the life’s gift. We an let go every pieces if you started to accept everything. And be contented and happy in the life that’s left for you. The last one loves. After such a deep fall we might see things in complicated angles. We feel fear. Fear of losing. Fear of rejection. We should wiser enough to choose whom we will love. God has a better plan so give him a time to heal your wounds that caused by people you thought could last forever at your side. Life is about you and God. Don’t get rush to find someone who’ll replace them in your life. There’s a perfect time of everything.
Another stage of moving on, although sometimes i thought it would be better if i won't hold on my pride anymore. But there's something in my head keeps me thinking, if i give up my pride will he give up his pride just like the way i did? Pride is one of the reasons m\why two people don't make it. I love him still and no matter how i try to get him back the more the pain I get, maybe it's better for me to move forward and then meet new people and enjoy the blessings that life offers me.
They say "sometimes it takes even great courage to stay away and leave things behind." Now i'm confused, is it really better for me to stay away and keep myself hurting. I know where I truly belongs and i know where i'll be happy.. It's with him only, but i guess it's too late for us to start another chapter of our love story. Someone, Somewhere owns him now. He has everything and I have no one. Well I don't want to have other people to support me and use them as a remedy. I'm not like that. I wanted to move on with my life yet i'm still holding onto the past..
I know that god has a better plans for us. But no matter how I tried to forget everything and pretend to be fine he's still the biggest part of me that no one could ever replace. no one but him. I've got a lot say to him yet he's not there to listen every word that i will utter.
How i wish that i could tell n\him how i am lost without him and feeling empty. How i wish could tell him that it's still me. nothing has changed. I'm still that girl whom he used to love with all of his heart. I'm still the girl who's always there for him whenever he needs me, that I am still the girl who always stays when everything walks away from him. Someone who still hold on and never surrenders. how i wish he could love me again and never leave my side forever more. No matter what i says here won't help, in fact he'll never know everything. Coz he's away and having fun with his peers. And loving the girl she's loving right now.
I'm not missing you Been through just about everything that I could go through When it comes to relationships Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen When I told myself that was it Now here I go, hurt again Cause of my curiosity Now that its over What else could it be he just had to cheat
I made a promise never to settle Why didn't I keep it? 'Cause I hated the heartbreak Crying and cheating, the fooling around
[Chorus:] (But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me I'm not missing you You might have had me open But I must be going because I got life to do I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone But this time its different I don't even feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
Its a shame in a way cause I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh Will my true love ever be? Why would I go on a search again When I know what the end will be What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?
I made a promise never to settle Why didn't I keep it? 'Cause I hated the heartbreak Crying and cheating, the fooling around
[Chorus x2]
No I can't be with you Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me I can't keep going through life Unaware of what I missed And the person I could be Love's good when its right And when it's left in your memory All the times I let you down I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
[Chorus]
(But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me (I'm not missing you) You might have had me open But I must be going because (I got life to do) I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it) Oh different, oh see the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door) You might have had me open But I must be going because I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone Oh different, feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
I'm not missing I'm not missing you(yeah, oooh) I'm not missing you (oh baby) I'm not missing you
The truth... I thought I've known him very well.. But apparently I was wrong.. I shouldn't be so affected and feeling betrayed today, but somethings aren't just clear for me.. I'll try my best to understand everything.. I need to hear all his explanations.. And I was hoping that those words were true.. I cant believe that he let me live in a lie..
I trusted him with all of me.. But I end up very disappointed. I love him to be honest to myself. And I will accept his past no matter how bad it is. I know that i should have known him so well before loving him. And I admit my mistake. But I guess it isn't too late for us. I was still hoping that everything between us will be settled and everything will be back to the way they were.
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..I love him so much, I need to hear his part. And I know, he doesn't have any intention to hurt me just like this.. Pilit naman iniintindi ng makitid kong utak ung lahat ng bagay na nangyayari sa'min pero kung talagang wala syang balak mag-explain sa lahat ng nalaman ko, maybe it's better for us to separate our ways nalang talaga.
That night gusto ko na talagang umiyak dahil nasaktan ako syempre dahil akala ko siya na ang pinakamatino sa'ming dalawa. nakakalungkot isipin na hindi maganda ung naging resulta ng pakikipagrelasyon ko sakanya pero sana malaman nya na sobrang mahal na mahal ko sya. Hindi man nya ito nakikita or naa-appreciate,.. willing naman akong ipakita at iparamdam sakanya ito araw-araw, pero kahit siya hindi nya ko binibigyan ng chance at isa un sa pinaka-masakit na part sa relationship namin. Gustuhin ko man ibalilk ung mga bagay-bagay sa dati wala rin silbi dahil kahit siya hindi gumagawa ng effort para mag-work ung relationship namin.. pero kung wala na talaga i shuld try to accept the fact and let him do what really makes him happy...
Someone calls me a while ago,.. It's his mom.. she send me a message, meanwhile she called. Actually i'm quiet nervous and have a conclusion well it's all about him of course.. She asked me about what happened last week when we had a misunderstanding and show disrespect to his step-father.. it hurts me honestly,.. then she said,.. "how serious is your relationship between my son?".. while she's talking about us my mind is running somewhere I don't actually know what to say and i was wondering if all my answers satisfies her.. Then finally she said "there's a lot of guy out there, someone who's better than my son. someone who will give you better life soon,.. Are you and my son planning to be settled soon?".. i told her no we're not. and then she added,.. marriage isn't that good, marriage ruins everything, It creates family however it creates striving.. i felt sad,.. and apparently i am trying to understand everything she said. But my head wasn't working very well today (hahaha) I was stupid when it comes to love matter.. as everyone knows.. after that call, i remebered the things my mom said to him a year ago,.. I don't want to think that she doesn't like me for her son,.. then one last thing flashed back.. When her mother called me and put all the blame on me.. I decided not to tell him about this coz thats another story i know.. I don't want them to argue because of me now what i'm thinking is,.. do i have to stay or just go,. I don't want to gone in the wind without a word but i think it's much better to do it that way,.. honestly i don't know what to do.. If i stay, i know his mother will think bad against me,.. if i go,.. christian will think that i leave him for other reason. im confused. i just don't know what to do.. please help me.. I wanted to ask for an advice to my best friend but i don't think he will understands me. I wanted to tell everything i feel today but something stops me... i
Seems like everything happens for a reason and god never gives us a problem that we cannot overcome.. I'm so happy that everything's fine between us AGAIN
No matter how we tried to hold unto something, and how we tried to fix the that's already broken, the more the pain we get. It may not be sound so surprising when someone give up so easily in a relationship that's already cannot give and take anymore.Sometimes we need to give up the things that we used to hold on for so many years.
Love doesn't always count on how long you and your partner been through actually it's already useless when both cannot give and take anymore. Only God knows when to stay and when do we have to go. even though it's quiet painful for those who left behind by their love ones they had to admit that they nothing in this world stays, they will walk out on our lives for some reasons,.. they maybe not contented on the love that we're giving, or they maybe just want to seek their selves and find what really makes them happy. They say that love doesn't gives us the license to own a person,.. but only gives us the right to care, love and protect them. And when they have to go.. Set them free without hesitation and be thankful enough that he/she gives you a happiness that cannot be bought happiness that makes your day brighter each day. Always remember that if someone walks out.. Someone will walk in.
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