paperandemotion101
 
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go, hurt again
Cause of my curiosity
Now that its over
What else could it be he just had to cheat

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[Chorus:]
(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
But this time its different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

Its a shame in a way cause
I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh
Will my true love ever be?
Why would I go on a search again
When I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle
Why didn't I keep it?
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating, the fooling around

[Chorus x2]

No I can't be with you
Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed
And the person I could be
Love's good when its right
And when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

[Chorus]

(But) I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
(I'm not missing you)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
(I got life to do)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
(I used to hate it)
Oh different, oh see the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you gone
Oh different, feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you

I'm not missing
I'm not missing you(yeah, oooh)
I'm not missing you (oh baby)
I'm not missing you 

 
Confession 05/14/2010
 
The truth... I thought I've known him very well.. But apparently I was wrong.. I shouldn't be so affected and feeling betrayed today, but somethings aren't just clear for me.. I'll try my best to understand everything.. I need to hear all his explanations.. And I was hoping that those words were true.. I cant believe that he let me live in a lie.. 

I trusted him with all of me.. But I end up very disappointed. I love him to be honest to myself. And I will accept his past no matter how bad it is.  I know that i should have known him so well before loving him. And I admit my mistake. But I guess it isn't too late for us. I was still hoping that everything between us will be settled and everything will be back to the way they were.

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..I love him so much, I need to hear his part. And I know, he doesn't have any intention to hurt me just like this.. Pilit naman iniintindi ng makitid kong utak ung lahat ng bagay na nangyayari sa'min pero kung talagang wala syang balak mag-explain sa lahat ng nalaman ko, maybe it's better for us to separate our ways nalang talaga.

That night  gusto ko na talagang umiyak dahil nasaktan ako syempre dahil akala ko siya na ang pinakamatino sa'ming dalawa. nakakalungkot isipin na hindi maganda ung naging resulta ng pakikipagrelasyon ko sakanya pero sana malaman nya na sobrang mahal na mahal ko sya. Hindi man nya ito nakikita or naa-appreciate,.. willing naman akong ipakita at iparamdam sakanya ito araw-araw, pero kahit siya hindi nya ko binibigyan ng chance at isa un sa pinaka-masakit na part sa relationship namin. Gustuhin ko man ibalilk ung mga bagay-bagay sa dati wala rin silbi dahil kahit siya hindi gumagawa ng effort para mag-work ung relationship namin.. pero kung wala na talaga i shuld try to accept the fact and let him do what really makes him happy...