the real thing


Another stage of moving on, although sometimes i thought it would be better if i won't hold on my pride anymore. But there's something in my head keeps me thinking, if i give up my pride will he give up his pride just like the way i did? Pride is one of the reasons m\why two people don't make it.  I love him still and no matter how i try to get him back the more the pain I get, maybe it's better for me to move forward and then meet new people and enjoy the blessings that life offers me.

They say "sometimes it takes even great courage to stay away and leave things behind." Now i'm confused, is it really better for me to stay away and keep myself hurting. I know where I truly belongs and i know where i'll be happy.. It's with him only, but i guess it's too late for us to start another chapter of our love story. Someone, Somewhere owns him now. He has everything and I have no one. Well I don't want to have other people to support me and use them as a remedy. I'm not like that. I wanted to move on with my life yet i'm still holding onto the past.. 

I know that god has a better plans for us. But no matter how I tried to forget everything and pretend to be fine he's still the biggest part of  me that no one could ever replace. no one but him. I've got a lot say to him yet he's not there to listen every word that i will utter. 

How i wish that i could tell n\him how i am lost without him and feeling empty. How i wish could tell him that it's still me. nothing has changed. I'm still that girl whom he used to love with all of his heart. I'm still the girl who's always there for him whenever he needs me, that I am still the girl who always stays when everything walks away from him. Someone who still hold on and never surrenders. how i wish he could love me again and never leave my side forever more. No matter what i says here won't help, in fact he'll never know everything. Coz he's away and having fun with his peers. And loving the girl she's loving right now.

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